Reflections of a Broken Man

What was once a previous life by StephenMac
September 25, 2008, 9:12 pm
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**currently listening to: mySpace is streaming Anberlin’s new album… I got the email today that my copy is in the post, but I still can’t wait…**

I have an irritating habit of only half finishing projects. There are at least four or five things that I really really have a passion for, but I seem to start or prep for them, and then get drowned in other stuff. Here are my projects:

– Get my thesis published
– Write a paper on the importance of morality in international political theory, tying together Beitz, Wight, O’Donovan, et. al
– Do readings on justification, “the new atheism”, O’Donovan, Hauerwas
– Plan for youth group term 4, plan for next year

*sigh* So much work to do… If only college would stop so I could actually do some work…

The prob is that most of these projects are from my former life… I really miss the pol sci, but I just can’t spare any time on it… (so why am I blogging? avoiding greek…)


Latest Acquisition by StephenMac
September 21, 2008, 10:25 pm
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So I bought Switchfoot’s Oh! Gravity album this week. I was struck about the similarities in style of certain songs to other bands. Circles sounds like a track off a DC Talk album (yes HK, I will repent of that sin 😛 ) while Yesterdays has a very Coldplay feel (think X&Y style). But by far, my favourite song has to be Faust, Midas and Myself:

This one’s about a dream
I had last night
How an old man tracked me home
And stepped inside
Put his foot inside the door
And gave a crooked smile
Something in his eyes
Something in his laugh
Something in his voice
That made my skin crawl off

Said I’ve seen you here before
I know your name
How you could have your pick
Of pretty things
You could have it all
Everything at once
Everything you’ve seen
Everything you’ll need
Everything you’ve ever had in fantasies

You’ve one life, You’ve one life
You’ve one life left to lead
You have one life, You have one life
You’ve life left to lead

I woke up from my dream
As a golden man
With a girl I’ve never seen
With Golden skin
I jumped up to my feet
She asked me what was wrong
I began to scream
I don’t think this is me
Is this just a dream
Or really happening?

You’ve one life, You’ve one life
You’ve one life left to lead
You’ve one life, You’ve one life
One life left to lead
What direction? What direction?

I’m splitting up, I’m splitting up
This is my personal disaffection!
What direction? What direction?
What direction now?

I looked outside the glassohgravity
At golden shores
Golden ships and masts
With golden cords
As my reflection passed
I hated what I saw
The Golden eyes were dead
A thought passed through my head
A heart that’s made of gold can’t really beat at all
I wanted to wake up again
I wanted to wake up again
Without a touch of gold
Without a touch of gold

What direction? What direction?
Life begins at the intersection
What direction? What direction?
What direction now?

I woke up as before
But the gold was gone
My wife was at the door
With a night robe on
My heart beat once or twice
And life flooded my veins
Everything had changed
My lungs had found their voice
And what was once routine
Was now the perfect joy

You’ve one life, You’ve one life
One life left to lead
You’ve one life, You’ve one life
One life left to lead

I can’t stand the fact that HSC English has made me dissect and analyse every song I listen to, but this song I think has quite a clear message. The first verse looks at “Faust”, the man who sold his soul to the Devil for knowledge. The second to verses look at Midas, and his golden world…. no I’m not gonna do this. Enjoy this awesome song!


The Calm Before the Storm by StephenMac
September 21, 2008, 10:11 pm
Filed under: Reflections | Tags: ,

**currently listening to: Oh! Gravity by Switchfoot…. my latest acquisition**

Okies… this is the first of a series of posts done tonight. My apologies to Dave’s Blog for taking up valuable space on his page.

This is the last night before my final term at college – a term of exams, coffee, screaming, Greek and Hebrew woes, and hopefully more Sydney FC wins like last night (*sigh* my cousin invited me to the game… and I turned him down because I wanted to chill at home!!! So very very annoyed – should have been there…what an awesome match).

IMG_0427 Things are exciting atm… church is booming, I have a job for next year with an awesome opportunity to grow and be grown, and college work I think is beginning to pay off. The end of this year is in sight, and I am so very grateful for what has been an awesome year so far. Oh… and spring is freaking awesome too!

On a downer, I am really struggling with dealing with some of the teens in my evening congregation. I haven’t earned their respect, so more often than not I feel like I’m coming across as a rules nazi… I spend most of my time chastising them for stuff – mainly being idiots and rude, and I am seriously struggling with anger, impatience, lack of love, and general frustration. Part of my excitement with next year is a fresh start: while I’ve been with this group for two years, there are a few who have only been there over the last month or three, and because I spend most of my time with the younger members in our youth group/sunday school, I haven’t had the chance to build the rapport with this particular group. And so they treat me like dirt, and I don’t deal much better with them. Next year will be a fresh start hopefully. Please…

On a random tangent, I am already beginning to miss the kiddies that I leave – they may not know it, but for their age, they are a remarkably intelligent and awesome bunch. It is so cool to ask a question in kids church, and have an answer that is truly profound. What a privilege! What a blessing! God has been so great this past year!

Stay tuned for the next few posts

Spring Contemplations by StephenMac
September 15, 2008, 1:25 pm
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**currently listening to HAARP by Muse… gotta be one of the best live albums I own**

You gotta love spring. Aside from the rain yesterday, these past 2 weeks have been awesome weather. I am wearing shorts for the first time in ages (my apologies to those who are offended by pasty pale skin on toothpick legs…), I am seriously contemplating beach-travels, and my mood matches the season! ζοη καλος! Oh… yeah… I have Greek and Hebrew homework to do… there goes my Spring joy…

Well not really… Greek and Hebrew are gonna have to get pretty bad to ruin this high 😛

Aside from the homework that I am avoiding, I have decided to do some reading of serious stuff. Two weeks ago, in Doctrine, we were learning about justification, and I heard that there is something called “New Perspectives” on Paul. Now I know that there are some who pretty much know this topic inside out, but before coming to college, I had never heard of it (a fact that our principal asked me not to reveal publicly – that our college had introduced me to the “New perspective” literature). For those who are uneducated barbarians like myself, the new perspective on Paul is a paradigm (my word of the moment) that re-interprets the Apostle Paul’s use of the word justification. So on the currently reading list is Piper’s The Future of Justification, which is a response to this “New Perspective” as advocated by N.T. Wright. For those of you who know this topic better than I, let me know your thoughts on this one, because I seem to be jumping into quite a difficult and convoluted debate.

Second on the reading list is Dawkins’ The God Delusion. I went to Men’s Convention two weeks back, and heard the guys from CPX give talks on this “New Atheism” (is it just me, or has society gotten a huge case of neophilia (not necrophilia – that’s just weird… but neophilia or the trait of being excited and pleased by novelty Dictionary.Reference.Com)). Anyhoo… I’m not sure what the CPX guys were saying, but I heard them as simply arguing that under the New Atheism rhetoric was mere poor scholarship. This I find hard to believe (without reading the book at all yet) as these New Atheists are smart, scholarly academics! How could they screw up their sources so badly? How could they be so misleading in their argument?!?

Dawkins introduces his book by saying that by the end of the book, he is hoping that religious readers will be atheists by the time they have finished the book. Pray for me, that I will see the truth, and continue in the faith that I had when Christ called me to be his own.