Reflections of a Broken Man

On Confusion by StephenMac
March 8, 2009, 11:19 pm
Filed under: Reflections | Tags: , , , ,

**Currently playing in iTunes: Emergency Broadcast :: The End Is Near by Underoath**

No matter how many times I’ve read books on, or heard sermons or talks or read through Job, I still find myself asking “why?” When bad things happen to good people, when a series of events that independently good, but collective cause all hell to break loose for you, I still ask the question “why?”

There are people who I know who have it worse than I, that is perfectly obvious, but when crap hits the fan for them, it still affects me I think. I am thinking of two people in particular: for one, relationships are seriously broken and I don’t know how they are going to sort it out. The other has just had one of those weeks where nothing has gone right. Both are peeps that I hold in high regard, they are people that strengthen me by their faith and witness. And so I ask the question: “why?”

Life is beginning to get full. Is this what ministry life is gonna be like in the real world? Where “down time” just seems to ineffective? I don’t even think that I’ve been in a situation before where my health has been as bad as it has been while at college. It may because of stupid things like poor diet etc, but it may be stress… I don’t know but I begin to wonder… “Why?”

My relationships with my folks are beginning to disintegrate… arguments are becoming an issue, and it’s because I’m in that bizarre scenario where I am young enough to still be their child, but old enough to be independent. My faith is becoming another sticking point, and I don’t know where point scoring stops and genuine disbelief begins on their part. I don’t know how to answer them, because they are parents: they still believe that they are the one who teach, and to learn of their son is strange. And I don’t know how to teach in love. Things are slowly getting worse I think… “Why?”

While I think it’s true that Peter was writing to a situation far more dire than my own, of genuine persecution for following Jesus, I still think that these words are of comfort in the day-to-day sufferings of this day and age:

In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

1 Peter 1:3-9

Relatively speaking, my life is great compared to some: but I still feel that some passages like this are the only things that keep me going. And as always, there is great comfort in the Anberlin lyric: When life is in discord, praise Ye the Lord!



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