Reflections of a Broken Man

On Doors and Desires… by patricious
September 22, 2009, 7:33 pm
Filed under: Reflections

It took me a while to figure out a way to login to this thing without using Steve’s email.

I know. I know. I still haven’t posted the follow-up to my previous post. Mostly because those reflections rely on my preparation for a Bible study that I led today, which I wasn’t too happy about.

Anyway, I thought this blog was ’emo’ enough to go here. Yes. I only intend to write here if the contents of my writing truly are “Reflections of a Broken Man”…

“Keep asking, and you will be given to you. Keep searching and you will find. Keep knocking and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”

Matthew 7.7-12

My prayer life has been rusty, if at all existent, of late. Not that I’m not willing to pray, or even pray for those around me. But I’ve become hesitant when in comes to prayers regarding my own welfare. Which is strange, thinking about it now: How am I praying for my brothers and sisters in Christ — knowing God acts for the good of his people — when I lack the faith (and probably assurance) that God acts for my well-being also?

It may well be that I have become too aware that my will may not coincide with God’s. But after a conversation with Steve (reporting back on Calvin@500), I was encouraged to find that our prayers are ordained by God as we pray them. But as we hear God’s answer (be it ‘yes’, ‘no’ or ‘wait’), we find God’s will for our lives. And. particularly as well reflect on His word, we begin to develop a prayer life that conforms to God’s will more and more.

I may have gotten things wrong;  forgive me if that is the case.

But looking at that in light of my desires and aspirations for my life, even including my desire to take part in vocational ministry, I am more encouraged to desire, to ask, seek, knock that those doors will be opened (however that may look for God’s will in my life). And, without waiting for a ‘sign’ as such, I would like to see where my life would be headed for the near future. I must admit that I am still unwise regarding the path on which I should take so I am also willing to listen to the wisdom of those who minister to me.

Pray. Pray. Pray.

I must, at most, remember to pray constantly.

I find that I am easily discouraged… by so many things that are ultimately inexcusable grumbling. Thus I’ve found it necessary to be surrounded by a community of believers (a ‘cloud of witnesses’ as preacher of Hebrews puts it) to cheer me on and even metaphorically give me slap on the back of the head when I come to an unnecessary state of despair.

This is where Steve comes in…

Or rather, I barge into his premises (which I’d imagine is inconvenient at times). I really should be more sensitive in that respect, but I am thankful for his hospitality and fellowship.

Your work was in my prayers, dude.

2 Comments so far
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You’re stealing my email!?!

BTW Pat, you’re never barging in… my door is always open (because we have an awesome security system to keep outsiders out! jks…) Thanks for the prayer too dude… it was done, in on time, so life is good atm.

Comment by StephenMac

I have heard word of your security system from one staffworker – locked himself out after a shower on a sunday morning (when everyone else was already off to church).

Comment by patricious

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