Reflections of a Broken Man

On Atheism by StephenMac
March 22, 2010, 7:53 am
Filed under: Reflections

*cue the theme from M*A*S*H — camera pans to Hawkeye Pierce writing a letter on his bed…*

Dear Dad,

I know its been a little while since I last spoke to you. It seems as though I am very much guilty of not writing for a very long time, and being hectic isn’t much of an excuse.

You’re probably aware of some of the things are are going on down here recently (I’m sure you read the newspapers too), and everyone is talking about this atheist conference that went on, and this in turn has brought many atheists out into the open, writing letters, replies, articles, and so on. Dad, what hit me the most was their vehemence. It was like being stabbed in the stomach by a group who’s hatred was almost surpassed by their ferocity. You know the horror I felt, reading about how many of them cheered, rejoiced, and laughed, mocked and ridiculed. There was a passion there, that seemed very much akin to bloodlust.

I cannot really criticise them, for was I not there too? Was it not me at the foot of the cross, shouting curses and insults at you? The horror of atheism isn’t so much their hatred, it’s the horror of knowing that would be me without you.

Yet, while you were so often their target, it seemed as though we were the cause of their anger. It seems as though many our my brothers and sisters have done many wrong things, often in your name Dad, and sometimes with good intentions, and yet, have done unspeakable evil, and many blame you. I wonder how many of your children, including me Dad, are guilty of causing many people to hate you?

And yet, still, they have no hope. I read an article last night that said that atheism only ever asks the question of your existence, but then what? Here was one of them actually being honest about the implications of your existence. Gone was the hate, gone was the bloodlust, in it place stood hollow optimism… Would they all not see how hollow it is?

writing, EBYG,
your (adopted) son.


2 Comments so far
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This is very humbling. I myself have been struggling with my faith for years. I’ve had some bad experiences through my life…I’ve had people tell me that when I get through it all I will be a very Godly man, for I will know that He has helped me through it. I connect well with the title of the site. I am quite a broken man myself. Will I ever be able to put myself together again?

Comment by Johnny M

Hey Johnny, thanks for dropping by, and for commenting.

I’ve had people tell me that when I get through it all I will be a very Godly man, for I will know that He has helped me through it.

While true, it often doesn’t feel very helpful when you’re hurting does it? When life hits the fan, we don’t have the foresight or the hindsight to be able to make much sense of what’s happening.

And so I want to say this: when you’re hurting, what’s the one rock that you cling to? For me, it was Job 19:23-27

23 “Oh, that my words were recorded,
that they were written on a scroll,

24 that they were inscribed with an iron tool on lead,
or engraved in rock forever!

25 I know that my Redeemer lives,
and that in the end he will stand upon the earth.

26 And after my skin has been destroyed,
yet in my flesh I will see God;

27 I myself will see him
with my own eyes—I, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!

In the midst of hurt, I held on to one core fact: my Redeemer lives. And if this is the case, then whatever I was going through was in his hands. And having come through the other side of that hurt, I can tell you that yes, God does use our hurts to grow us. Hindsight is 20-20 as they say.

Will you ever be able to put yourself together? I hope not. I hope it is Christ that rebuilds you, making you the new man that he died for. That’s what the title I think for me is all about… I am broken, yet Jesus is fixing me and making me the man he died to save.

If you would like to keep chatting about it, either comment here, or email me: hazara_khan86 at hotmail dot com


Comment by StephenMac

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