Reflections of a Broken Man

On Rediscovery by StephenMac
May 18, 2010, 12:51 pm
Filed under: Reflections

**Currently listening to Define the Great Line – Underoath… solid album… haven’t heard it in ages until my bro was listening to it yesterday, so I pulled it out again…**

I found out on Sunday that during the previous week’s evening service, two people became Christian. It still hasn’t really sunk in yet. I know that Sunday evening was merely the latest in a long series of things that God has been doing in their lives, so whether they had prayed the prayer before, I don’t know, but I do know that as of two Sundays ago, there was some serious dancing being done in heaven by the homies. Its a turning point. Sure, things may not change immediately, they may have not felt much of a change at all, but something amazing and wonderful has happened in their lives, and now, all of God’s promises apply to them. And that’s pretty awesome. (I love the simplicity that my minister’s sms message relayed the news: “More good news: Little … followed your prayer and accepted Jesus into his heart”)

It’s been a pretty life changing week. Last week contained a pretty low low, but was then followed on thursday by one of the most life changing sermons I’ve ever heard (see previous post). It’s like a lightbulb moment, where the lightbulb is a halogen floodlight, and it’s midnight in a room with no windows (possible use of hyperbole). I wouldn’t call it a conversion, but it was most definitely a rediscovery of the greatness of God (and the smallness of me in a non-emo sense). When I became a Christian, there was a little moment of golden light, a lightbulb moment, as I lay on my bed praying the prayer of a child, and I knew that something almost ontological had changed. My whole existence was different. The following morning the feeling was deadened somewhat, but my new life continued. I write this because at the moment, that lightbulb moment which existed on Thursday is slowly beginning to dim. It makes me long to rediscover God each day, each moment. Feelings are deceptive, but they’re pretty cool when they work.

There is something deeply joyous about rediscovering God. So much of what I do is head stuff, and every now and then, some stuff filters down into the heart, but I think that Thursday was the first time that something had really really hit me in a positive way. Last year, sure, there was the Doctrine lecture that had me curled up on my bed crying. But that was a truly saddening moment, when you see what Jesus went through on the Cross, and you look down, and in your blood-splattered hands are a hammer and nails. But this was different.

God knows that I am a prideful man. He doesn’t usually let me know if someone has become a Christian so that I don’t all of a sudden think I’m a super-hot preacher boy and uber-evangelist. But sometimes, when we need assurance and affirmation of the ministry that we are in, God sometimes gives us a glimpse of what he is doing. He’s pretty cool that way.

Praise him for the work that he’s doing, and sometimes allows us to share in his work.



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